


Retrospectively Unsubtle

by kowaidesuka



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Hilda/Marianne, Established Relationship, Friends AU, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Dimitri/Dedue, Past Lysithea/Felix, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 03:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20401000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kowaidesuka/pseuds/kowaidesuka
Summary: Sylvain and Felix get together, secretly (who knew an engagement party on the island of Almyra could be so romantic?). One by one, their friends find out, until it all comes to a chaotic close.Based on a variety of Friends episodes, but mostly 'The One Where Everybody Finds Out'.





	Retrospectively Unsubtle

**Author's Note:**

> Credits to @wildeginny on Twitter for the idea... which was about 3 weeks prior to this. But better late than never, as... someone once said. Anyway, I'm Sylvix (Sylvelix?? Felvain??? Gautarius???) trash, but I'm also '90s sitcom trash; and maybe no one else falls under these two bin categories, but I hope you enjoy this regardless :') (also some minor Dimidue and a hint of HildaMarianne because why not)
> 
> Anyway in case you get confused, Felix and Ingrid are roommates, and Ashe and Sylvain are roommates, and their apartments are across the hall from each other. Dimitri and Dedue live together and later move in to the apartment building next to the first four. Mercedes and Annette are roommates too but they live relatively far away. None of them have specified jobs either except for Mercedes who's a cafe owner. 
> 
> Special thanks to the creators of Friends, and my own friends for giving me a couple of pointers and plot points ^_^

Dedue noticed something was up between the two of them, as soon as they had boarded the plane taking them back to Garreg Mach.

Despite his towering stature, he was a subtle wallflower compared to some of the louder and crazier individuals in their group, allowing him to be the perfect observer of the inner machinations of his boyfriend’s friendship circle.

And maybe it was due to him being one of the later additions to the group, or as one of the ‘group moms’ as Annette lovingly dubbed him, but he’s seen the small changes in both Sylvain and Felix, over the course of their spring trip to Almyra, visiting their Leicester friends. How Felix seemed snippier than usual, especially upon seeing his ex-girlfriend Lysithea, and hearing anything marriage-related (which wasn’t difficult, considering the main reason for their visit was to attend Marianne and Hilda’s engagement party). How Sylvain’s smile seemed strained and his flirting and gallivanting seemed less enthused than usual. And the side glances between the two, the way they stood stiffly next to each other in group photos, their disappearing acts all throughout the party...

Dedue was drawn out of his thoughts by Dimitri’s sighing. “Is something the matter, Dimitri?” he asked, focusing all his attention on his boyfriend.

“Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing,” he replied, waving his hand dismissively. “Except… well, sometimes I feel like… an inadequate friend.”

“Is that so?” If it weren’t for the public setting, and the awkward and cramped positions the shitty economy seats put them in, Dedue would have pulled the smaller man into a comforting embrace. As such, he settled for grasping his hand tenderly. “What brought this on?”

“It’s just… Claude knew exactly what to do for his friend’s party. And he pulled out the most extravagant engagement gifts. I didn’t even know I had to bring presents to an engagement party,” he admitted, embarrassed. 

“There’s more to friendship than giving gifts,” Dedue said soothingly, trying to ease his boyfriend’s woes. Though Dimitri didn’t regret going to Northern Faerghus for university rather than following his friends down south, he did get sad at times at their involuntary falling out and having to miss out on so many pivotal moments. Felix meeting Lysithea, first encounters with Mercedes and Annette, and later Ashe, a litany of 21st birthdays, Ingrid and Glenn’s engagement… and subsequent breakup, as Felix’s brother landed his dream job in Dagda. It was Dedue’s idea to move them down to Garreg Mach as well, once they both finished their postgraduate work. That was six months ago, and their friendships seemed to have returned to full swing; yet Dimitri was still often disheartened at all the memories he missed out on.

“That is true but… I don’t know. I feel like I’ve missed so much.”

“Have you considered talking with them? I’m sure they don’t blame you for not being there.”  
Dimitri’s eyes lit up. “Of course! God, you’re brilliant.” Then he unbuckled his seatbelt and staggered up. “I’m going to go talk to Sylvain for a bit.”

Dedue looked up at him, surprised. “Right now?” Sylvain probably was the easiest to talk with, but with him and Felix sitting together… if his deductions were correct, then they most likely wouldn’t want to be interrupted.

“No time like the present. Besides, Felix is gone, I’ll just talk to him real quick until he comes back.”

Dedue glanced over to their seats, a row ahead and in the aisle, instead of window seats like him and Dimitri. _Huh. So he was._

“I’ll be right back, alright?” Still a little wobbly from sitting down for too long, Dedue watched as he clumsily plonked down on Felix’s seat. He couldn’t see much from his seat, but the white noise and relative silence from the rest of the plane’s passengers meant he could effortlessly hear their conversation.

“Dimitri!” Sylvain said alarmed. “Uh… did you need something? I kinda had to go to the bathroom…”

“This will only take a few seconds, please, Sylvain.” And then proceeded to unload half an hour worth of his worries onto the redhead. To his credit, Sylvain was quick to assuage the blond’s woes, much to Dedue’s relief. At that moment, Felix stepped out of the bathroom, slamming the sliding door closed. He stomped down the aisle, practically steaming with anger as he hovered over the two. 

"Oh, hello, Felix!" Dimitri greeted him cheerfully. "You sure were in there for a long time. Why, it must have been like, half an hour!"

"I _know_," he said through gritted teeth.

"That isn't normal. Are you coming down with something? Did you eat something weird at the hotel? Does Rodrig-"

"For the love of God, _do not_." He sniffed. "Now fuck off."

Dimitri chuckled, long accustomed to Felix's snippiness as a faux sibling growing up with the Fradarius family. "Alright. Great talk, Sylvain." And just as he left, the seatbelt sign lit up, accompanied by the captain's intercom announcing their imminent landing. Felix took a moment to turn his glare to the ceiling where the captain's jovial voice crackled out, then took his seat.

According to his boyfriend's recounts, both Sylvain and Felix were quite active in their school days, participating in a number of clubs and societies well into their college days. Well, Dedue had a feeling they were about to join yet another club that day, if it weren't for Dimitri.

He sighed, praying that the whole ordeal would not end in drama and tears.

\---

"Why the fuck did we bring so much crap there?" complained Felix, carrying the last of his and Ingrid's bags to their apartment. "We didn't even go swimming. Claude ended up saying 'fuck it' to any semblance of a dress code. Hey, careful with that!" He scolded the redhead, who was dragging his suitcase. "You're going to scratch the floors." 

Sylvain laughed and said, "Oops, my bad," and hefted the bag in his arms. He paused on the spot. "So, um… sorry again about what happened on the plane. I just don't know what happened, he just suddenly started talking to me and I didn't want to blow him off, but you were waiting and-"

"Sylvain." He held his hand up. "It's fine. Maybe it would've been reckless if we continued."

"Yeah, I mean…" Sylvain chuckled. "We definitely had a good run in Almyra. It's probably for the best that we ended it there."

"I… had a temporary lapse in judgment there, seeing Lysithea," the slate-haired man admitted. Sylvain bit his lip. He remembered how great the two were together, meshing well despite their opposite tastes. How even though their breakup was amicable, Felix was pained nonetheless to see her go. "And you happened to be there to… comfort me. Thanks for that."

Sylvain laughed. "Hey, that's what friends are for, right?" Though arguably, friends didn't exactly do _that_ often. "Um… I'm gonna go unpack, maybe take a nap too while I'm at it. See you around?"

Felix waved him off wordlessly as he closed the door behind him. Sighing and staring at the luggage in front of him, he let his mind wander to that fateful night of the party… and the night after that. And the one after that too. And that morning before they left, in the closet where housekeeping kept the spare linen.

Subconsciously, he let his feet guide him back right in front of his apartment door. Wait, no! He really shouldn't… should he? Could he? No, it was probably a bad idea.

Suddenly the door burst open again - he had to jump back to avoid busting his nose in - revealing a nervous Sylvain. "You know…" he began, hesitant. "I'm still on Almyran time. Does that count?"

Felix gulped and nodded. "Oh yep. It counts," was all he could say before Sylvain's lips crushed against him again. And gradually, all his previous doubts washed away.

\---

"Omigosh, guys, look!" Annette slid her phone to the middle of the kitchen table, in the middle of the plates of pastries and toast. "Hilda finally uploaded all the photos from the party! Ah, her and Marianne's photos together look so cute." She scrolled through the first few, depicting the two ladies posing with various party-goers, Marianne holding up two fingers with a shy smile, her fiancee's arms slung lazily around her shoulders.

"Oh, there's you, me, and Mercie, Ingrid!" Ingrid looked up at that, leaning forward to see the pictures of the girls in matching sundresses.

“Looking good as always, ladies,” Sylvain commented with a wink, ignoring the resulting glares.

“Are there any photos of me?” Dimitri said hopefully.

“Let’s see… oh, yeah, here’s some! Oh… she also included the ones from later when you got sunburnt.” Annette winced. “Sorry, Dimitri.”

“Oh God… alright, no one tag me in them, okay?”

“Too late,” Felix said, waving his phone with a smirk.

Dimitri groaned. “Jerk.”

“Hmm…” Annette scrolled through the rest of the album. “I can’t seem to find that many photos of Felix or Sylvain though.”

“Huh. Fancy that.” Sylvain sipped his coffee, leaning back. 

“Now Felix, I get,” Ingrid said. “But Sylvain, you’re usually everywhere the camera goes. You leave early or something?”

“Me? Leave all those beautiful ladies behind? No way.” Sylvain laughed, a little too forcefully. “Hilda must have just, I don’t know, picked some out. The world isn’t ready to see me look as bomb as I did that night.”

Felix shook his head minutely. When he told Sylvain to just act like his usual self, this was not quite what he had in mind.

“Right…” Ingrid looked unconvinced.

“Well, I better head off now. Gotta get back in the swing of things, or my boss’ll kill me.” Sylvain stuffed the last of the bagel in his mouth. “See you later,” he said, leaning down to peck Felix on the lips instinctively, much to his alarm. _Dunce! Moron! _

Realisation seemed to dawn on Sylvain as he looked at Felix’s horrified expression. Panicking, he turned to the rest of the table, staring back at him, wide-eyed. “Um, um... Ingrid!” He leaned down to kiss Ingrid’s lips. “Pleasure as always! Dimitri-” Another peck, leading to Dimitri sputtering wordlessly. “Can’t leave you out either, Annette!” The ginger girl just sat there, stunned as he planted his lips on hers. “I’ll see all you guys later tonight!”

Felix groaned internally. Really? _That_ was the best plan his singular brain cell could come up with?

The group sat in silence, breakfast momentarily forgotten. “What…” Dimitri found his voice first. “What the _hell_ was that?”

“I don’t know,” Ingrid said slowly, pissed as all hell. “All I know is, I am so going to kick his ass later.” She shook his head. “Seriously, we’ve all made jokes about him being insatiable but… this really takes the cake.”

As much as he’d like to dunk on his… (Boyfriend? Fling? He wasn’t sure at this point), it was probably for the best to defuse the situation and try and salvage Sylvain’s reputation. With a well-trained scoff, he said, “He probably picked it up from Almyra, honestly.”

“I don’t think that’s an Almyran thing,” Annette said.

"What I meant was… well, he's been out with Claude and his friends for some of the days there. Claude's probably been feeding him all sorts of bullshit about the landmarks there. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to think he'd make up weird Almyran customs too."

"Huh," Dimitri mused. "Come to think of it, Claude did always try to trick me into copying that one thing he always did." He held his hands, palms out, on either side of his head. He always said it was a technique to steady his arm muscles, but…"

"Yeah, you were duped, Dimitri." Annette giggled. "And it looked like Sylvain was too."

"Well there you have it. Only you two would be silly enough to fall for von Reigan's jokes," Felix replied, shaking his head wearily. With a laugh, the group continued to dig in. Ingrid, however, continued to side-eye her best friend and roommate.

\---

Weeks passed, and one day Sylvain casually sauntered out of the cafe supply closet, combing through his disheveled hair, and joined an equally disheveled Felix drinking his coffee on the couch. "That sure was… something," the redhead said, grinning cheekily as he sipped at his own latte.

"What was?" A cheerful voice said behind them, causing the pair to spring apart. "Oh, Mercedes! When did you get here?"

Mercedes hummed as she finished tying her apron. "Just now, actually! Emile came down with something last night, so I'm covering his shift for today," she said, beaming. "The poor thing was rolling around all night, saying he felt like death."

"Right. That's uh… too bad."

"I know, right? I hate to see him suffer like that," she replied frowning. "Anyway, I'll be at the back if you guys need me!"

The two men watched her warily as she disappeared behind the staff door. "That was too close," Felix hissed. "Way too close. You need to work harder to keep your hands to yourself."

"Excuse me? Are you saying that-" he gestured vaguely to the closet door, "-was my fault? Coz the scratches on my back definitely tell a different story."

Felix slapped his arm in response. "Ugh, I'm tired of all the close calls we've had. If only there was a place where we wouldn't run the risk of getting caught." Seriously, everywhere they turned, it seemed they just ran into someone they knew. 

"Well… why don't we just go out of town or something? Can't run into any of our friends if they're not there," Sylvain said, tapping his forehead with a grin.

"That could work," said Felix.

"We could go down to Enbarr, book a hotel there. I could say I have a work thing and, uh, you…"

"Oh." Felix's eyes lit up. "I've always wanted to check out the knife show there."

Sylvain looked at him, exasperated. "Okay, well, you know you're not actually going to the show, right?"

Felix's excited expression morphed into a scowl. "Keep up that attitude, and I might."

\---

"A knife show? In Enbarr? Only you, Felix, only you." Annette shook her head, sprinkling ginger into her cookie mixture.

Felix shrugged. “What can I say? I know what I like,” he said, as he dumped the rest of the ground ginger into his own mix. Annette wrinkled her nose at that. The spice in his cookies would have been way too overwhelming for her to handle.

“Oh Felix, you’re going to Enbarr too?” Ashe piped up from the couch. “How funny, Sylvain was just telling me how he has a work conference there.”

“Is that so,” Felix said, staring at the auburn-haired man, who was perched on the arm of the sofa. “It’s almost like you could have held the work conference _literally anywhere else_.”

“Well, I can’t exactly control where work sends me,” Sylvain replied breezily. “You know me, always going with the flow. A true team player. All about the bottom line.”

Ingrid flicked at his forehead, inciting a yelp of protest from him. “You’re being weird again. Stop it,” she said, frowning, before turning to Felix. “Three nights all by myself in this apartment, huh?” she said drily. “How will I ever cope?”

“Like you’re ever left alone. It’s never fucking quiet here,” Felix said, scowling at their friends scattered about the connecting kitchen and living room.

“Aw, Felix. You know deep deep down, you love us,” Annette teased, spooning globs of cookie dough onto the tray in front of her.

_That’s true for at least one of you guys,_ Felix’s traitorous mind supplied.

\---

Ashe enjoyed rooming with Sylvain, he really did, however… he also enjoyed not having him around, at least for a couple of days.

When he first started rooming with Sylvain, he didn’t expect to have to deal with his new friend bringing around a different girl at least every week (though to his relief, more often than not Sylvain struck out in the end). Though that behaviour had stalled for quite some time, he was still loud on his own in all hours of the night; he was never trained out of his habit to stomp around (“Toe first, Sylvain, toe first!” he’d lecture him) or slam doors. It was nice to have some peace and quiet for once. 

Replying to Sylvain’s “got there safe :)” text with a “:)” of his own, he finally put his phone down to crack open the book he’d been itching to read for some time. It was a mystery novel, not a genre he’d normally indulge in (he was very, very into Arthurian-inspired and historical fiction); but it was a gift from his older brother Christophe, and he felt obliged to at least check it out.

Three days later, and he finished the book, cover to cover. He thought it wouldn’t be his cup of tea, but… wow. He had a newfound admiration for detectives. The way they could solve a case and save the day using only a handful of clues; it was heroic and almost knightly in its own way.

His roommate returned home that day some time after he went out to buy the rest of the series. “Oh, Sylvain!” he greeted cheerily, popping his head into Sylvain’s room. “How was the trip?” The taller man was currently unpacking, suitcase lying open on top of the bed.

“It was pretty great. Ended up arguing with… my colleagues for a while but we made up in the end. We nearly missed our train ride back though because we- well, I. I overslept.”

“I see. Is that why the inside of your suitcase is a mess?” Ashe teased, nodding toward the squashed bundle of clothes peeking out of the case.

“A little bit of that, plus my natural messiness,” Sylvain laughed. “Oh, speaking of messes! I also saw Manuela Casagranda in our hotel lobby, waiting for an elevator.” The famous Enbarr-born actress, though beloved by many, had quite the reputation for untidy trailers and being a rather sloppy drunk.

“Oh, wow! Enbarr sounds exciting, I wish I could go someday.”

“Well, next time we have a work thing there, I’ll have to sneak you in with me,” the redhead winked, turning his suitcase upside down.

“Did you do anything with Felix while you were there?”

Sylvain’s head snapped up from his rummaging. “Huh? Oh, no. Didn’t get a chance to. He was staying at some motel on the other side of town. ‘Sides, I doubt he ever left the show. He was so excited to be there.” He cleared his throat. “Or so I imagine. Shit,” he cursed as some of his clothes fell off the edge of the bed. 

Ashe quickly kneeled to help. “Here, let me-” he paused as he pulled out a hairbrush from the middle of the pile. “Is this yours? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you use a brush before.”

Sylvain snatched it from his hands. “Oh, well…” he chuckled. “Ah, must have been the girl I had over last night. Kind of fucked up that women feel like they have to bring every beauty product they own everywhere, huh?”

“Er… I suppose it is messed up,” he agreed, giving his friend an odd look. “Well, anyway. We’re having dinner at Ingrid’s tonight.” At Sylvain’s blank look, he clarified, “Dedue and Mercedes are cooking. Don’t worry.”

The redhead sighed in relief. “Oh, awesome then.”

\---

After a delicious, spice-filled meal and sweet blueberry pie for dessert, the gang found themselves once again sat surrounding the television, sans Dimitri and Dedue, who were chattering quietly and rinsing the dishes together, and Felix, who resumed his unpacking in his room. Mercedes was happily recounting another story of Emile kicking out a rude customer, Ingrid laughing the loudest out of all of them.

Felix walked round to the back of the couch, leaning forward to tap Ingrid on the shoulder. “Hey, I think I lost my hairbrush. Mind if I borrow yours for tomorrow morning?”

_Huh._

The blonde wiped at her eyes. “Huh? Oh yeah, haha, sure thing.”

“So Felix, did you see Edelgard in Enbarr, by any chance?” Dimitri said, trying his best to wipe at the wet plates gently. Ashe has seen him being reckless around dinnerware before; it was a little… terrifying to be honest.

“No, I did not see her nor did I particularly want to,” Felix said. “Oh, but I did see that one woman from that one movie.”

“Very specific,” Annette commented, grinning.

“Shut up,” he said without venom. “What was her name? Manuela?”

_Oh. OH._ Ashe’s jaw dropped. He whipped his head around to Sylvain, who looked at him with barely concealed fear. “You-!”

“Ashe, could I talk to you real quick?” Sylvain leapt to his feet, pulling Ashe by the hand. “Ashe I really need to talk-”

“You!” The grey-haired man whipped his head toward Felix. “Oh my God!”

“Yeah, I need to talk to you too,” Felix practically yelled, following behind as Sylvain dragged a protesting Ashe into the adjoining room. The door slammed shut.

“Um… did anyone else think that was really weird?” Annette turned to look at everyone else in the room, who seemed equally as perplexed as her.

“That _was_ really weird,” Mercedes agreed, cheerful as ever. “It did remind me of another customer we had that really wanted to talk to our manager. So Emile turned around, walked into the staff room, and walked right out again, only this time wearing a hat…”

On the other side of the door, Sylvain has Ashe tackled and put in a stronghold, one hand covering his mouth. Taking a moment for all three of them to calm down, Felix gulped and put up one finger. "Alright. I'm only going to say this once…" He paused, locking eyes with Ashe. "Yes. Yes, we are together."

The redhead relinquished his roommate from his hold, leaving him to sit up and pant out, "W-what? How? When did this happen?"

"It happened in Almyra-"

"Almyra?!" Sylvain shushed him frantically. "It just sort of… happened," he explained. "And we just, well, kept it going 'til now."

"I can't believe this. I just can't." The silver-haired man shook his head, jumping to his feet.

"Wait, wait, you gotta keep quiet about this, okay? You can't tell anyone," the auburn-haired man said, blocking the door.

"What? Why not?"

"Lots of reasons!" Sylvain insisted, shaking him by the shoulders. “It’s just way too much to deal with everyone knowing right now.”

"You know I hate lying! Especially to our friends."

"It's not lying, it's just… pretending you don't know the truth. Okay, that also sounds pretty bad."

Felix stepped in to rescue. "Look," he began. "We just want to keep this under wraps for just a little while longer. We're both so bad at relationships normally-"

"So, so bad," Sylvain agreed.

"-but we've kept this a secret for so long and I think it's going so well because it's just between us for the moment."

"Yeah it's-" Sylvain paused, turning to his boyfriend. "Wait, you think this is going well?" he asked, hopeful.

And then Felix gave him a fond look, a look that Ashe had never seen before from him. "Yes, Sylvain. I think it's going extremely well."

Ashe cleared his throat after a moment of the two staring softly into each other's eyes. "If it really means that much to you… I guess I can help you keep it a secret for a while longer." The two men turned to direct their smiles to him.

"Thank you, Ashe," Felix said, uncharacteristically grateful. "Really, you're a good friend."

And for that one evening, Ashe got a taste of what it was like to be a true detective. But at what cost? The burden of a huge secret, weighing down his chest like one of his old roommate Caspar's dumbbells.

_It's only for a little while longer,_ he tried to reassure himself one morning, as Felix walked out of Sylvain's bedroom like it was second nature to him. _Everything will turn out fine._

\---

Though Ingrid had been friends with Sylvain for more than two decades, their friendship was definitely not a judgment-free zone. And not just on Ingrid's end either, as she learnt the hard way one day during her lunch break.

_**IG:** are you going to help or not? >:((_

_**SG:** hahahaha_

_**SG:** yea ofc_

_**SG:** I'll just make one for you honestly_

_**SG:** It'll take forever if we do it together ;]_

_**IG:** oh fine_

_**SG:** cant believe you're gonna make an insta just to follow glenn's private acc_

_**IG:** He asked me for my account name and I didn't have one_

_**IG:** this is the most effective way to talk to him_

_**SG:** you mean stalk_

_**IG:** just hurry up, thot_

_**SG:** ok GRANDMA_

_**SG:** so it's not letting me make a new one_

_**SG:** sad_

_**SG:** eh, I'll just give you mine, I don’t use it that much nowadays_

_**IG:** excuse me I don't want your filthy account_

_**SG:** relax_

_**SG:** I'll just wipe everything_

_**SG:** I can even change my handle_

_**IG:** good, I don't want to keep it like that_

15 minutes later, Ingrid logged in to her brand new account. Typing in ‘fraldarius’, Ingrid’s thoughts drifted to the memory of the last time she was physically there with Glenn, their tearful goodbye, and the painful weeks that ensued before they agreed that a long distance relationship would not work. Their conversations these days usually revolved around photos they shared, which had prompted the elder Fraldarius to share his Instaframe account with her.

The first account from her search was suspiciously blank, with a rather curt description of “whatever. this is stupid.'' Ah, right. Once upon a time in their freshman year, Sylvain had begged them for a week to join him on the stupid site, and Felix was the only one who pitied him enough to make an account. Glenn had been complaining to her that his little brother took the handle and barely even used his account, leaving him to take the less impressive ‘therealfraldarius’. 

Grinning, Ingrid clicked ‘follow’ and opened up messages to send him a ‘sup’ for laughs. Surprisingly, a chain of messages already existed between her and Felix. _Oh… did he forget to delete his messages?_ Ingrid shook her head. _What an idiot._

It was wrong, very, very wrong… but she couldn’t help herself from reading over the last chain of messages sent between the two, from over a year ago. 

_**galateatime:** feeeeeeeeeeeelix_

_if i was the last guy left alive on this planet would you date me_

_**fraldarius:** idiot, if you were the last guy alive i’d be dead_

_**galateatime:** u kno wwhat i mean :((_

_sighh idk like_

_i feel like. my chanc e to find the one is slipping_

_**fraldarius:** wouldnt it be more like the two, or three, in your case?_

_**galateatime:** :((_

_**fraldarius:** sorry sorry_

_low hanging fruit_

_You’re… not so bad. Just need to stop screwing around._

_I don’t really believe in true love and all that crap, but despite your worst flaws, you do have a good heart. I’m lucky to have you as a friend._

_**galateatime:** omg thanks felixx <3_

_but im the lucky one_

_hey did you know felix means lucky_

_ur my lucky charm_

_**fraldarius:** go the fuck to sleep sylvain_

Ingrid shook his head, trying to bite back her grin. Honestly, these two. The three of them, Dimitri included, had always been close growing up but those two had always at each other’s side, thick as thieves.

After work, she decided to pay a visit to across the hall. 

“Oh hey Ingrid,” Sylvain said, without looking up from his phone. “Need technical support already?” He snickered.

Ingrid rolled her eyes. “I’m not _that_ bad, Sylvain,” she said. “It just takes me a while to learn.”

“You know who else takes a while to learn new tech? Grandmas.”

“Oh, shut up,” she groaned. “No really, though. Thank you for that.” She smiled at him gratefully. “So Ashe is out of town, and Felix is working the “late” late shift. Though I honestly believe he’s going on a date later or something, he’s been really weird lately. Trying to look his best and stuff.”

“Ah, I don’t know about that,” Sylvain laughed, rubbing the back of his head.

“Anyway, you want to go get a pizza or something? My treat.”

“I would, but uh… it’s laundry night.” Sylvain nodded solemnly. “Yup, it is the night for me to do laundry.” 

“Huh. You know, it’s like every other night, Felix is out doing laundry. The machines downstairs don’t seem to be working that well. You’re probably better off going to the one across the street.”

“Oh… yeah, that sounds about right. Thanks for the tip. Now if you’ll excuse me.” He started to walk toward the door.

“Oi, aren’t you forgetting something?” At Sylvain’s blank stare, Ingrid continued, “Can’t really do laundry without the laundry, can you?”

“Ah, right.” Sylvain smiled weakly. “Can’t function without you, can I, Ingrid?” Leaving his jacket and phone on the kitchen counter, he walked into his bedroom. The blonde sighed, grabbing a beer from the fridge and setting herself down at the counter. Might as well make herself comfortable if she was to be left alone. 

The sudden sound of rapid fire buzzing alerted her to Sylvain’s phone, lock screen lighting up to display the preview of the redhead’s incoming text messages.

_**Lucky charm <3:** gonna be late fml_

_they actually tried to get me to do the late late shift ffs_

_anyway, can’t wait to see you too i guess_

_… <3_

Ingrid’s jaw nearly dropped to the counter. _Holy shit! This was… this meant…_

The quick shuffling of footsteps and Sylvain’s bedroom door opening prompted the blonde to sit up straight.

“There! Got all my laundry sorted and ready to go,” Sylvain said, swinging the bag over his shoulder. “You good to lock up behind you?”

“Uh huh,” was all that Ingrid could squeak out. 

“Cool. Later!” he called, closing the front door and leaving Ingrid to stew in her thoughts.

Later that night, Felix questioned exactly why Sylvain was carrying a dirty hamper bag to their date.

\---

There was _no way_ Ashe didn’t know.

Or at least, Ingrid hoped he did, or else she might have to re-evaluate his observational skills. Sylvain was the exact opposite of subtle, and she doubted that anyone could live with him 24/7 and not know that he and Felix were secretly fooling around.

Still, one must approach this with some… delicateness. She was steaming mad that they both kept it a secret from her, but still… it wasn’t her secret to tell.

She tried to broach the subject to him during their monthly book club meeting.

“My thoughts on Ardbert’s arc?” The silver-haired lad rubbed his chin pensively." “As far as secondary characters go, his journey was actually quite enriching. It was satisfying to read about his victories, and to see him return triumphant to his hometown. Overall, I find Ardbert to be a great character, and it’s refreshing to see a traditional sidekick character shine.”

“I agree mostly, but…” Ingrid frowned. “Well, I find his integrity to be lacking.”

“Really? What makes you say that?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

“He eloped with Emilia and kept it a secret from his closest friends. It’s a betrayal of his allies' trust," the blonde explained, frown deepening. "It's not fair to keep secrets from friends, right? Especially ones about matters of the heart."

"... I'm sure Ardbert had his reasons for doing so," Ashe said evenly. "Sometimes secrets like that are best kept, well, secret."

"Is that so. And what, you know that from your own experience?"

"Er, I'm not really following your point, Ingrid," he replied, not meeting her eyes.

“Well, not you personally. But say, hypothetically, if two of our friends were sneaking around…”

Ashe squinted at her, suspicious. “Do you know something?”

“I may know something. Do you know something?” Ingrid straightened up.

“No, I know _absolutely nothing_,” he said, a little too forcefully. “But… well in this hypothetical situation, if two of our friends…”

“Yes, any two of our friends, like for example our dumbass roommates-”

The grey-haired boy gasped and leapt to his feet. “You know?!” he exclaimed, eyes widened.

“And you!” Ingrid jumped happily, grasping at his hands with her own. “Sylvain and Felix, together?!” Ashe nodded. “It’s unbelievable!” 

“Yes, yes!” The grey-haired man nodded once more. “But you can’t tell anyone, Ingrid, and I mean _anyone_. They’re so weird about other people knowing.”

“I figured that,” the blonde replied. “I’m just glad that someone else knows, I’ve been dying to talk to someone about it for so long, I-”

The door knob turned and the pair jumped apart. "Hi guys!" In walked Annette and Mercedes, looking slightly damp.

"Oh hey!" Ingrid greeted with gusto. "What happened to you two?"

"We were on our way to the park when it just suddenly started pouring down!" Annette ran her fingers down her wet locks. "Like seriously, look outside!" She pointed out the window.

"And just as we were planning to have a picnic." Mercedes shook her head sadly as she placed her backpack on the dining room table. "We came up here because it was closer than running back. Hope you don't mind too much, Ingrid."

"Of course not!" Ingrid glanced over to Ashe, who shot her a meaningful look and nodded to the door. "Um, actually, why don't you guys just hold down the fort here? I feel like taking a walk in the rain."

Annette looked at her, incredulous. "You sure about that?"

"Yeah, me too!" Ashe tore his coat down from the hanger. "Let's go, Ingrid!" As soon as the door slammed shut behind them, he started babbling out the tale of how sparks flew between their two dumbass roommates ("It started in Almyra…" "In ALMYRA?!").

"Huh. Now that was strange," Annette remarked after they left, before she let out a gasp. "Ooh! What if they're secretly dating or something?"

Mercedes giggled, unpacking the finger sandwiches. "Now wouldn't that be something?"

\---

Annette bustled around the open apartment, admiring the shiny hardwood floors and sleek furniture. “This apartment is so awesome!”

“It is,” Dedue agreed. “How lucky for us, that there would be a vacancy in this building." The apartment building in question was right next to the one where Ingrid, Felix, Sylvain and Ashe were staying. 

“It’s quite spacious, top of the range kitchen, and best of all, it’s close to you guys,” Dimitri said excitedly to Ingrid. 

“Honestly, if you guys don’t move quick, I might steal this apartment for me and Mercie,” Annette said. She pouted at Dimitri’s laughter. “I’m serious!”

“Okay, okay,” the blond chuckled. “Let me just talk to the agent for a bit.” He and Dedue disappeared into the other room.

“Oh, can you just believe it? Now most of you will just be in the same area,” Annette said to Ingrid, who had just returned from the bathroom. “It must be so convenient. Like, you could probably even wave and call out to each other if you wanted, your windows are facing each other, so… let’s see, which floor again… oh wait never mind, I see Felix and Sylvain. Hey Felix, Sylvain!” she called out, waving her hands energetically outside the open window. “Hey guys, over here! Hey! He- oh my GOD!” 

Ingrid look up, startled by her friend’s horrified tone, and following along the line of her pointed finger and- ah. The sight of Sylvain devouring Felix’s face, how charming.

“Sylvain and Felix! Sylvain and Felix!” The ginger yelled, jumping up and down. “My eyes! My eyes!”

“Annette! Please calm down,” Ingrid tried, trying to steady her by grabbing her shoulder. 

“No! They’re- they’re doing it! They’re doing it!” 

“I know! I _know_, okay?”

“You know?!”

“Yes, I know, and Ashe knows, but no one else does, so you have to stop screaming!”

“Annette. Ingrid.” Dedue popped his head into the doorway, startling the two women into screaming once more. “Please close the curtains before Dimitri sees too.”

“You… you too?” Ingrid stammered, astonished, while Annette worked quick to draw the curtains together. Dedue nodded. “I’ve had… suspicions for a while. Listen, we can talk later about this. Dimitri’s almost finished with the complimentary cheese the agent left out, so.”

The next day, the three of them and Ashe gathered in a cafe that was not Mercedes and Emile’s, for once. The chairs were stiff, matching the tense, uneasy air most of the group felt.

“I feel so bad, keeping this from Mercie,” Annette sighed into her cup of coffee (which wasn’t as sweet as how Mercedes made hers). 

“Same with Dimitri,” Dedue agreed. “He often told me stories about how he and Felix grew up side by side, practically as brothers. I don’t like keeping this from him, especially considering their past closeness, but it’s not my secret to tell.”

“Why does this even have to be a secret?” Ingrid grumbled, pushing aside her crumb-filled plate.

“Well, maybe they wanted privacy. Some time to figure things out without us judging them,” Ashe suggested. “We’ve all seen so many of Sylvain’s failures to shoot his shot, and well, Felix and his ex…”

“So what happens now? Do we confront them?” Annette questioned. “Oh God, I don’t want to confront him, their ‘fight or flight’ modes might kick in and we all know Felix will pick ‘fight’!”

“Calm down, no one is going to confront them,” Ashe said, trying to reassure the ginger lass. “Look, enough of us know about them, so we definitely should tell them. Maybe not all of us at once though. I could go, and-”

“I vote,” Ingrid interjected, “That we mess with them.”

“What?” The silver-haired boy stared at her, taken aback.

“I’m sorry, Ashe, really. You are right, it’d be the right thing to do. But also…” she sighed. “I’m annoyed that they’ve kept it a secret from me, of all people.” She looked momentarily hurt, before her grin returned. “Also, I’ve always kind of wanted to get them back for being little shits growing up.”

“I kind of want to mess with them too, honestly,” Annette said. “Ooh, I got some ideas! So Ingrid, you said Felix has been running off to do laundry but he’s actually been hooking up with Sylvain. Maybe you could give him a bunch of your laundry to do for real!”

“Oh, that could work!” the blonde exclaimed excitedly.

“Wait,” Ashe said weakly.

“And then, well, remember when I first met Sylvain and then he flirted with me on and off for a week? Well, I could flirt back with him to try and freak him out!”

“Guys, please. I just want all the lying and sneaking around to stop,” Ashe pleaded. “Dedue, what do you think?”

Dedue was silent for a moment, looking down at the table in thought, as if processing Ashe’s question. "I think that out of all of us, I'd understand their position the most. So I don't disagree with keeping it a secret." At everyone's questioning glances, he continued, "I, as was Dimitri, was nervous to meet all of you at first. Of course, it all worked out well in the end, but at the time it was daunting, and I wanted nothing more than to remain as just Dimitri and me, to share what we had with everyone else."

"Oh, Dedue! We love you!" Annette hugged at his side. "And no matter what happens, we'll still love Sylvain and Felix too, right?"

"Right," Ashe nodded.

"Of course," Ingrid agreed.

"Additionally," Dedue said, "perhaps I'm still a little annoyed that Sylvain had to kiss Dimitri."

"That's right, that happened!" Ingrid banged her fist against the counter. "Oh, I can't wait until we meet up with them later."

Ashe merely shook his head as they continued to chatter, hoping everything would not go to shit.

\---

Sylvain absolutely loved when his and Felix's mornings off coincided. It was a good time to blink away the sleep in his eyes, and relax under the weight of Felix's head buried in his chest. No roommate to bother them either; in his half-asleep haze, he heard Ashe leave the apartment fairly early in the morning.

He didn't know what higher power to thank for getting him and his prickly, yet adorable boyfriend together, after years of always circling around each other as friends. Even after him having a terrible track record with past dates, and Felix's whole thing with Lysithea, and his parents pressuring him into marriage after Glenn's engagement ended, and how that culminated to Felix, alone and bitter about love for months.

He was startled out of his thoughts by a poke on his cheek, and he looked down to see Felix squinting at him. "You're thinking way too loud," he grumbled, voice rough with sleep.

"Ah, sorry," he said, chuckling.

"It's whatever," the slate-haired man shrugged. "So… what were you thinking about?"

_How we got to where we are now. How lucky I am to have you in my arms right now._ "The bagel shop on Ubert Street," he blurted out instead.

Felix snickered. "Hungry already, are we?" He pecked Sylvain on the cheek before climbing out of bed; Sylvain missed the warmth immediately. "Come on, you lug. Before they run out of the spicy salmon bagels that I like."

"Aw, you come up with the best pet names, darling," he cooed, watching with glee as his boyfriend's cheeks reddened.

"Don't make me drag you out of bed," he said, turning dismissively to Sylvain's en suite.

"Hey, Felix, I _lug_ you too!"

"You're the worst," he called back, though not without mirth. Sylvain smiled as he stretched his limbs out on the mattress, carefree; he hadn't felt this giddy in a long time.

\---

"Well, I'm going downstairs to do the laundry," Felix said, as was the biweekly ritual for him and Sylvain. Right on cue, Sylvain chimed in, "Ooh, I'll go with you!" But then Ingrid cried, "Wait!" and disappeared into her room, reemerging with an absolutely packed to the brim laundry bag.

"I haven't had the time this past week so… you wouldn't mind putting this in as well for me, right?" Ingrid said, smiling up at him. 

Bewildered, Felix replied, "Uh… I don't think I have enough quarters."

"Got you covered." Ingrid pulled out a roll of quarters and handed it to him. "Oh, maybe you'll need another roll? I've got more."

"No, no, it's fine," he said curtly, exchanging a look with Sylvain. "We'll be done with it soo-"

"Oh, hold on, Sylvain," Annette interjected, "I was hoping you'd be up to play this new board game my dad sent us!"

"Aw, Annette, you'd know I'd love to," Sylvain began, turning to her, "But I- oh my God, is that Cones of Archanea?!" He looked excited. Felix couldn't bite back the fond smile in time; it was admittedly very cute when Sylvain indulged in his love for board games.

"And the expansion pack version with extra Valentia territory! I'm- No, no, I can't," he said shaking his head, "I promised Felix that-"

"It's okay, Sylvain," Felix interrupted. "I can handle the clothes myself."

"You sure?"

Felix nodded, giving him a meaningful look. "We can… do laundry some other time."

He nodded. "Alright, if you say so. Okay, ladies, the rules of Cones may be daunting at first, but not to worry, I am a veteran at this-"

Felix left the apartment, grin fully breaking out as he turned away from his (totally not cute) boyfriend and their friends.

\---

“Yet another win for Margrave Gautier,” Sylvain proclaimed, grinning at his two contenders. Ingrid merely pouted at her loss, but Annette squealed and hugged him, gushing out “Congrats Sylvain!” and “You’re just sooo good at this game!” It was oddly affectionate, even for her. In fact, she had been acting like that all throughout the three Cones matches they played. Touching his shoulder, laughing at his dumb jokes, showering him with more compliments than he’s gotten in the past year. The old Sylvain would have preened under the avid, bordering on flirty attention and praise, but… this just made him uneasy.

Maybe it was nothing, just his imagination running wild, but regardless, he voiced his concerns to Felix.

“Annette, coming on to you?” Felix wrinkled his nose. It was past midnight, the pair settling down to spoon after Felix snuck back into his and Ashe’s apartment. “I don’t think so.”

“I’m telling you, it was totally weird.” Sylvain shook his head. "She was touching my arm and shoulder, being all giggly and stuff-"

"Are you sure she wasn't just laughing at your ridiculousness?" he asked, smirking.

Sylvain pouted and jabbed at his side in retaliation. "Rude. Anyway, she even told me that we ought to go out for tea sometime. Like, that's my line!" he said, emphasising the statement by pointing to himself. "Honestly, it feels pretty weird to have my own signature moves done on me."

Felix sighed in exasperation. "You did not patent getting tea, okay. Besides, I always got the impression that Annette liked you in the same way that… hm. Like someone would love a dog."

"A… dog?"

"A rowdy, overly excitable dog. That probably needs to be spayed or something."

"Ouch." The redhead winced. "But I really do think something weird is going on…"

(Un)luckily for Sylvain, he got his proof less than a week later, when Annette came up to their apartment complex to meet up with Ingrid for a movie.

“Oh, Sylvain! I didn’t expect to see _you_ here.” She skipped up to Sylvain, who was innocently perusing Felix and Ingrid’s fridge. Felix himself was busy sweeping the kitchen floor, a few feet away from them.

“Hey, Annette,” he greeted back. “Well, I’m either always here or across the hall, so…” he shrugged.

“Oh, that’s right! Silly me. I’ve been so distracted lately,” she said, giggling and batting her eyelids. _Okay, what exactly was going on?_ Perturbed, he cleared his throat and said, “So Ingrid told me you guys were going to go see ‘Infinite Vengeance’.”

“Yeah,” she said, sighing, “but I really wanted to see ‘Sleepless in Sreng’ instead.”

“Oh, that new romance movie? I didn’t know you liked those types of movies.”

“Normally I don’t, but…” she clasped her hands together, giving him a doe-eyed look. “Lately I’ve been feeling all sorts of feelings for this one guy I know, and it’s been driving me crazy. It’s giving me the urge to watch other people, you know, lose themselves in the romance.” Now Felix was looking up, staring intently at the two.

“Ooh, you like someone?” A teensy part of him (his egotistical side) was bummed out, but Sylvain was mostly relieved that his instincts were wrong. He relaxed his grip on the sandwich he fished out of the fridge. “Who’s the lucky guy? C’mon, spill.”

“Well, actually,” Annette said coyly. “I can’t tell you.”

“Aww, Annette. You can tell me anything, you know.”

“Actually, you’re the one person I can’t tell, and the person I want to tell the most.” Annette bit her lip, looking conflicted.

“Uh… what?”

“You know how sometimes you’re looking for something and you don’t even see that it’s right there in front of you, holding a sandwich?” Annette slapped a hand to her mouth, looking scandalised at her own words. “Oops. Did I say too much? Anyway, it was nice seeing you again. You know, you should wear that shirt more often.” She reached out to squeeze at his arm. “It makes your biceps look so… huge. And squeezable.” She giggled again. “Anyway, bye guys. Ingrid, let’s go, we’re going to be late!”

“See ya,” Ingrid said, and without looking back, added, “Sylvain, you better put my sandwich back or else your ass is grass.” The door slammed shut behind the two ladies.

“See? Did you see that?” Sylvain said, quickly placing the sandwich back in the fridge.

“Actually I did,” Felix said, setting the broom down. 

“_Now_ do you believe she’s attracted to me?”

Felix’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, shit. I think she knows,” he said.

“What? Are you serious?”

“Yes! Annette must have found out somehow and she’s just trying to freak us out. It’s the only way to explain her flirting with you.”

“You know, every time you insult me like this, you’re indirectly insulting your own tastes right?” Sylvain said, deadpan.

“Oh, lick your wounds later,” Felix growled, taking his boyfriend’s arm and leading him to the door with him. “We need to do something about this. Now.”

\---

"Ashe, we need to talk," Sylvain said as he and Felix barged into the apartment. He tugged on Ashe's arm that was holding the book he was reading. "Now? Could it wait until I finish this one chap-"

Felix yanked the novel out of his hands, ignoring the man’s protests. "Does Annette know?" He said curtly.

Ashe turned toward him slowly, mulling over the words as he began to internally panic. "Does Annette know… what exactly? Annette knows lots of things, haha, she was so studious in college-"

"Does she know about _us_?" Sylvain interrupted, frantic.

"Umm…"

"Ashe!" the pair yelled in unison.

"Okay, yes, they know!" the grey-haired man cried frantically. “I’m so sorry, but they wanted me to keep it a secret.”

A pause. "They?" Felix said in a low tone. "Who are _they_, exactly?"

"Um…" Ashe stalled, flustered and wringing his hands. "Annette and… Ashe."

"_Ashe._"

"And Ingrid…"

"Oh my God," Felix groaned.

"... and Dedue."

"Shit." Sylvain paled. "That's like… one step away from Dimitri knowing as well."

"Well… look on the bright side," he tried. "Now most of us know, so it can be all out in the open. No more secrets, hooray!"

“Unless…” Felix mused.

“No, no ‘unless’! Please!” cried Ashe.

“They tried to get the upper hand on us, but we'll be the ones to defeat them." Felix’s grin suddenly turned downright evil, making the grey-haired man shiver. “Because you see, they don’t know that we know that they know.”

“So we’re going to mess with them back? Alright!” Sylvain cheered. “Oh, but you can’t tell them that we know, alright, Ashe?”

All Ashe could do was nod weakly.

\---

“Oh, hold up, Ingrid, my phone’s buzzing.” Annette pulled her phone out as they walked out of the movie theatre, Ingrid still digging into the bag of jumbo popcorn she bought. “Oh, it’s Sylvain. This ought to be good,” she snickered before pressing ‘Answer’. “Hello, you,” she said, trying to put on the coy, Manuela-like voice she learnt for their scheme.

“Hey Annette, are you tired?”

“Not particularly,” she replied. “Why are you asking?”

On the other end of the line, Sylvain smirked up at Felix, and continued, “Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.” Felix shook his head in exasperation.

“... _Huh_?” was all Annette managed to utter out, slack-jawed with shock. Ingrid stood in front of her and mouthed ‘What’s happening?’

“So I was thinking about what you said earlier and… well I was wondering if you’d like to come over later tonight? Say, around 6? We could have a drink, some dinner. Then, if you’d like, you could feel my bicep again… and possibly more,” he practically purred into the phone. His boyfriend gave him the thumbs up.

“Um… okay,” she said hesitantly.

“Great, can’t wait!” _Click._

Annette looked up to meet Ingrid’s concerned gaze, horrified. “He- he said he wanted me to come over and feel his bicep and possibly more!” she cried. 

Ingrid gasped. “Oh my God, this is unbelievable! Even for him. I cannot believe he would do that to Fel-” She froze suddenly, realising something.

For the second time today, Ashe was bombarded with questions, this time from his phone. “Hi, Ingrid, what’s up?”

“Ashe,” her voice called slowly and firmly from the phone’s speaker. “Do they know that we know?”

“N-no…”

“_Ashe_.”

He sighed. “They know that you know.”

“I knew it!” Ingrid growled out, gritting her teeth. “God, what are we going to do now?” She turned to Annette.

“Here’s a crazy idea,” Ashe said dully. “Why don’t we just tell them the truth?”

Annette snapped her fingers. “Hey…” she said, eyes widening in realisation. “They don’t know that we know they know we know!”

“Please, no…”

“So we have the upper hand again!” Ingrid said, triumphant. “Awesome. Okay, let’s do this!”

“Are you there, God?” Ashe muttered to himself. “It’s me, Ashe Ubert…”

“Oh and Ashe, you can’t tell them, okay?”

“Couldn’t even if I wanted to,” he sighed.

\---

“I don’t know about this, Felix,” Sylvain groaned. “How far am I going to have to go with this?”

“Not very far at all, if I have anything to say about it.” The slate-haired man smoothed out the collar of Sylvain’s shirt. “Besides, she’s going to crack way before you do, I guarantee it.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re on my team,” he said firmly. “And I don’t intend to back down from any challenge.” 

“How intense,” Sylvain said wryly, running a hand through his hair once more. “How do I look?” he said, winking at his boyfriend.

“Eh… acceptable,” he said, ignoring the redhead’s pout. “So I’ll be in the bathroom, if you need me. Go at her hard and fast with the flirting, and maybe that’ll be enough to get her to back off.”

Sylvain nodded. “Right.”

“Ugh, I really don’t think I can go through with this, Ingrid.” Annette was all dolled up in a long pink dress, makeup done and hair let down into soft ringlets. She looked green in the face, and tapped her feet nervously, kitten heels thumping on the carpeted floor of the hallway.

“Don’t worry, Annette, I’ll be right out here, listening closely, if you need me, okay?”

“How long are you guys going to take?” Ashe was also there, kicked out of his own apartment. “They wouldn’t let me grab my book,” he said plaintively.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Ashe,” Ingrid said, looking guilty, “really, I am. Look, the sooner we get him to crack, the sooner this will all be over and you can go back in, okay?”

“Alright, fine,” he conceded, crossing his arms. 

“Now if there’s one thing Sylvain can’t stand, it’s being hot. Temperature-wise I mean,” she clarified. “He can’t think straight when he’s all hot under the collar. So you’re going to have to turn up the temperature on the thermostat whenever you get the chance, and crowd around him a lot. Oh, and make sure he drinks a bunch of this.” She tapped on the lid of the whiskey bottle that Annette was holding.

“Got it,” she nodded, trying to hold herself up confidently. Ingrid patted her on the back comfortingly. “Go get ‘em,” she whispered, before ducking in the stairwell with Ashe.

Annette knocked on the door, her heart pounding and stomach doing wild somersaults. “I was wondering when you’d show up,” Sylvain said as he opened the door to let her in. “I thought that maybe you decided you wouldn’t come.”

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” she lied, trying to will herself to calm down. “So glad that you invited me here and that we’ll be taking our relationship to the next level,” she said, trying to make her voice sound all low and sultry.

“Well, you look very beautiful,” he replied, winking. “If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.”

“How sweet of you.”

“That dress looks great on you. But you know what you would look really beautiful in? My arms.”

“Oh, you,” she said, giggling. “I have some whiskey here, which I’d love to share with you.”

“Ooh, how rebellious,” he said, eyeing up the bottle. “Not exactly what I envisioned you drinking, though.”

“What can I say? I know what I like,” she teased, making sure to look him up and down. Was it just her imagination, or did he seem shaken already? He seemed to compose himself in the next moment, saying breezily, “I’ll go get us some glasses from the kitchen,” and turning away from Annette. Quickly, Annette strode over to the thermostat switch next to the front door, turning it up higher. _Yes! Score one for Annie!_

“Oh, you’re leaving?” She turned around to see Sylvain holding two glasses. “Um, not anywhere without you… baby,” she said, trying not to sound too awkward.

“Well, just so you know,” he said, handing her a glass, “I would’ve gladly followed you anywhere. ‘Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.” He gazed intensely in her eyes as he poured out his and her drinks, setting down the bottle on the table. “Cheers,” he said, before downing the glass in one go. Annette did the same, not without wincing. 

“Wow,” she said, trying not to choke on the aftertaste. “You… you are so very attractive to me right now.” Another lie; Sylvain was starting to look as sick and flustered as she felt right now.

“And you, Annette, are always attractive to me,” he shot back, rolling up his sleeves. “Phew. Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”

“I, um… I guess it’s just the effect we have on each other,” she said, letting out another giggle. _Oh right. I have to crowd him too. Okay, here goes._ She reached up to put her arms on Sylvain’s shoulders. The redhead gingerly placed his hands on the small of her back in response, face flushed from what Annette guessed was a mix of the heat, the whiskey, and his own embarrassment.

“So, um…” he began.

“So,” Annette repeated. “I guess there’s nothing left for us to do but kiss.”

“Yes, kiss,” he echoed. 

“Uh-huh, yep. Kissing. Your lips meeting mine. Aha.” She forced out a laugh.

“Oh, unless you don’t want to?” Sylvain said, taking a step back. Annette followed him, practically cornering him into the kitchen. “No, I’m definitely not going to back out.”

“Okay.”

“Okay…”

“Right. Here goes…” He leaned in, slowly, painfully, agonisingly. Annette followed his lead, bringing her head forward so that her lips brushed against his. It had about as much passion and zest as a lump of clay, honestly.

Sylvain broke away from the kiss quickly, much to Annette's relief, and backed away, colliding none-too-gently against the kitchen counter. "Alright, alright, you win," Sylvain declared, raising his hands up in surrender. "I can't go through with this anymore!"

"Yes!" Annette exclaimed triumphantly. "And why can't you?"

"Because I'm in love with Felix!"

"You're… what?!"

The apartment front and bathroom doors opened simultaneously. Ingrid and Ashe stepped wordlessly into the room, dumbfounded, while Felix walked over to Sylvain, dazed.

"You heard me! I love him! I. _Love_. _Him_!" Sylvain turned and pointed to Felix. "Ah, I'm sorry, Felix," he said, suddenly sheepish. "We lost, thanks to me. I cracked way too easi-"

Felix pulled him close by the collar of his shirt and crushed his lips against his. "I love you too, Sylvain," he replied breathlessly when they broke apart for air.

"Aww!" Annette gushed, suddenly getting misty-eyed. "I thought you too were just screwing around, I didn't know you were in love!"

"Oh, you guys! I'm so happy for you two," Ingrid rushed over to envelope them both in a warm hug. She let them go abruptly and pointed at Sylvain. "Okay, you, don't ever break his heart," she warned, Sylvain nodding his head solemnly in response. She turned to Felix. "And you… try not to break his legs, okay?"

Felix laughed. "I'll try my best." He shot another fond glance at Sylvain.

“This is so great,” Ashe said happily, clapping his hands together. "Now everyone knows! No more secrets."

"Actually, Mercedes and Dimitri don't know yet," Ingrid corrected him, looking apologetic as Ashe deflated once more.

Felix and Sylvain looked at each other. “I feel up to… telling them, actually,” Sylvain said, before quickly adding, “Only if you’re up to it, of course.”

Felix sighed. “No, yeah, you’re right. I think it’s time for us to come clean.”

\---

“So you-” Dimitri said, flabbergasted, “-and you?”

“Yup,” Sylvain said, arm around Felix.

“And you knew?” he looked over to Dedue, who stared back at his boyfriend, looking guilt-ridden.

“Please don’t blame him,” the redhead pleaded. “Really, we didn’t want _anyone_ to know. People just ended up… finding out by themselves.” He chuckled. “I guess in hindsight, we weren’t that subtle, to be honest.”

“But still, I… I’ve known you both for so long, yet I didn’t see this coming at all, I’m-”

Felix tsked. “Listen, Dimitri,” he said sternly. “If you’re going to go on about how you feel like a bad friend for not knowing anything was up, or not predicting that all the times Sylvain hugged me as a kid, or all the times I tore him a new one in high school, meant that we secretly loved each other or whatever, you can just spare me.” He sighed. “You’ve missed out on a lot these past few years, but… you’re here now, and for the foreseeable future, so… get used to this.” he crossed his arms and glared at Dimitri, who was now beaming at them both.

“What he means is,” Sylvain added, “we’re glad to have you back in our lives and for you to be here for us.”

“I’m glad to be here too, and so happy that two of my closest friends have found happiness with each other,” he replied joyously, looking between the two of them, eyes sparkling. “At least I have the honour of being the first person you two have told officially,” he added dryly, “even though I’m one of the last among our group to find out.”

“Well, at least you beat out Mercedes,” Sylvain joked, causing the blond to laugh.

\---

As it turned out, Dimitri did not beat out Mercedes.

“Oh, that? I already knew about that,” Mercedes said serenely, her calm figure a stark contrast to everyone else in the room looking taken aback. “Honestly, when you said I had to sit down for this, I thought it’d be something more serious.”

“You- you knew?” Felix looked unnerved for once. 

“Ah, so I truly was the last to know,” Dimitri said with an empty smile; Dedue patted him on the back consolingly.

“I knew it was a bad idea to fool around in that closet.” Felix turned to glare at his boyfriend, who had the decency to look apologetic.

“Hmm? Oh that. No, I knew way before that,” the blonde replied. “Although I ask that you refrain yourself from doing that again, okay?” she added, a little too cheerfully.

“Y-yeah, of course,” Sylvain promised, while Felix nodded mutely, still looking unnerved.

“So how _did_ you know, Mercedes?” Ingrid questioned, looking at her curiously.

“Was it perhaps, the ‘group mom’ sense that Annette claims you and I to have?” Dedue asked. This time, all heads turned to him, shocked at him uttering the phrase so casually.

Mercedes giggled. “Oh no! Nothing like that.” She took a moment to compose herself, clearing her throat.

“Well,” she began. “Do you remember whose hotel rooms I was next to when we were all vacationing in Almyra?”

“Hmm…” Dimitri looked thoughtful. “I believe you were situated in between Felix and Sylv- Oh…”

Sylvain’s eyes widened. “Oh. Oh shit.”

“Yeah… I have to say, the walls there were very thin…”

Felix buried his face in his hands. “Please, just… just kill me now.”


End file.
